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So much of this. 

An apology is NOT “I’m sorry BUT here’s why I’m totally in the right and think I did nothing wrong.”

Some people do in fact take the “Here’s my understanding of how I hurt you” as the “why I’m right and think I did nothing wrong” when it isn’t and call it a “fauxpology”.  There are times when it is, but there are times when it isn’t.  You have to listen to what the person is saying to find out and they won’t know how to never do it again if you don’t listen to them at all.  If you take the time to listen and point out the fallacy, they can hopefully have the humility to go “Oh, there’s where I went wrong.  I won’t do it again.”

I’ve had people once tell me that they didn’t want to hear anything after the “I’m sorry” part even though I told them that I wanted to go over my thinking process with them to understand where I went wrong so that I can be sure to not do it again and they told me it wasn’t their responsibility to do that with me.  Well, that’s all fine and dandy, but they’re the one I hurt so I can’t really ask someone else that I didn’t hurt why or how I can improve myself because that 3rd person won’t have the same experiences to necessarily understand why either.  How is anyone supposed to learn and grow if you don’t take the time to listen to each other and talk things out?

I don’t know if this is a problem that’s more recent, but it just feels like some people want quick and easy answers or solutions to conflict, but that’s not how it works.  Resolving conflict takes time and work.  The more serious things are not going to get fixed in two minutes from just getting an “I’m sorry”.  You actually have to listen to each other and come to an understanding about what the problem was and depending on what the issue is, it can take a few hours, but if that person and your relationship with them is valuable to you, you’ll do it and get through it as thoroughly as possible so that you can fix it and you won’t take short cuts or half-ass it because it gets tedious.  If the relationship is important, you don’t skimp on this stuff.

(Source: ethiopienne)



The original story of the little mermaid is that she must kill the prince in order to be human, and in the end, she loves him too much and kills herself instead.

The artwork is too great not to reblog. 

Ok, ok - important expansion: she only has to kill the Prince because the deal was if he fell in love with her she could be human forever, and he didn’t. By which I mean, he was a good person and genuinely nice to her, but he didn’t fall in love. He fell in love with someone else, also perfectly nice - not the seawitch in disguise, fu Disney. The Mermaid is told she can only return to the sea now if she kills the Prince. She goes into the room where he and his lover lie sleeping and they look so beautiful and happy together that she can’t do it.

That’s why she kills herself. And because it was a noble act she returns to sea as foam.

One moral of the story was that women shouldn’t fundamentally change who they are for love of a man, and in theory Han Christian Anderson wrote it for a ballerina with whom he fell in love. She was marrying someone else who wouldn’t let her dance.

Holy shit

Well shit man

(Source: erickavillongco)

Random Thoughts While Cleaning

Cleaning the apartment now because it needs to be done and the building management is doing pest inspections in all of the units.  Technically started cleaning a couple of days ago, but now everything needs to be done by tonight.  A good a time as any, but going to be behind on my translations and some post-con work I have to do. ;o; Teh sad.

But anyway, random thought!

So I follow Dante Basco on Facebook and tumblr now because I discovered he had them and once upon a time when I was like 8 I had a crush on him because of Hook. (Robin Williams ;o;) True facts, one of my favorite childhood movies and going to see it was one of the best memories I had of bonding with my Dad post-divorce, so yeah.

Anyway, so his birthday’s tomorrow and his site has shirts for sale and one of my friends on FB who also just discovered he had a website shared his t-shirt sale from this year and is also sad because we’re broke and have no money right now.  I actually really wanted last year’s shirts too, but I had just moved so I was SUPER POOR.

Too many tangents!  Too tired from cleaning!  Stay focused!

Anywho, all this to say that looking at the shirts and name, it suddenly occurred to me among all of the red and black that perhaps Basco ta Jolokia from Kaizoku Sentai Gokaiger is a reference to him?  I mean, just saying his monster/armored form for sure does remind me of Rufio and it’s a pirate sentai and he’s Marvelous’ main rival kind of like how Rufio was Peter Pan’s rival only Basco ta Jolokia was kind of a lot more of a douchebag.  A favorite villain for sure for many, but a villain no less.  His plain clothes outfit is also kind of Peter Pan-y as well.

Anyway random thought.  Back to cleaning now.

Farewell to Robin Williams…


Farewell to Robin Williams…

Today Robin Williams past away and it’s been so surreal, it felt like it came out of nowhere… A text message from a friend made me aware of the news and frantically I jumped online to see if it was true. Sadly, I found out it was and even more sad, I read of the circumstances. I couldn’t keep reading the stories online for it’s too sad.

At times like this, I get very reflective and being a…

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;o; This is really sweet.

Also, I’ve seen lots of quotes all day in memorium to Robin Williams, but the one I saw that made me really lose it was one I saw on George Takei’s page that said “Bangarang, Peter.”

"Hook" was a huge part of my life as a child and I watched it many, many times over and had a lot of fond memories bonding with my Dad (who also himself passed away 6 years ago).  

That said, it’s really nice to see this insight into the filming of that movie and I feel like the “Neverland” theme is a really appropriate way to describe how I’m sure many of his fans feel about his body of work and our childhoods whether or not “Hook” itself was a large part of it.

on 'keeping up with the kardashians'...




on ‘keeping up with the kardashians’

khloe: you know if you go in an ambulance you have to pay for it after

kendall: omg what a rip off

REALLY THOUGH. cause EMTs and medics don’t have to get paid and ambulances don’t need maintenance and the departments don’t need…


I think EMTs and medics should be paid and ambulances should get maintenance and stuff, but I also don’t think the patient should have to pay for it necessarily especially if I got ambulanced off unconscious.  I appreciate that effort is being made to save my life, but to me this sounds like a public service that my taxes should be paying for and I think it’s upsetting that they don’t and public health, safety, and basic life saving things like an ambulance ride to a hospital are an extra cost to the public out of pocket instead of it being a shared pool among all taxpayers that we don’t have to worry about how much it costs to get to a goddamn hospital.

i hear you, and i actually agree. i think taxes should cover the cost of an ambulance, just like taxes cover police and firefighting. i wrote this post on a whim and out of anger because the kardashians are so well off and the fact that they were scoffing at EMS costing money really just rubbed me the wrong way lol. in general, though, yes, it shouldn’t cost an arm and a leg to get necessary and possibly life-saving care.

I totally agree. Except, i’d be concerned as to how much that would raise taxes. After all, we as americans, really really fuck up bureaucracy. 

Up until recently, my medical insurance did NOT cover emergency ambulance transport. At 500-800 per transport, (mind you, i live 1.5 driving miles from the hospital)  that added up quickly. Even to a point that i had an account with the local 911 ambulance that got an auto transfer of $25/paycheck to eat away at the huge balance i had with them over the years.  This also kept me from calling an ambulance during times i should have, and either drove myself or had someone take me… which was a really bad idea from someone who should know better.

Yeah, I’d be worried about the taxes too, but I’m generally also okay with paying taxes as long as the money goes where I expect it to.  Ambulance rides being one of the places I would like to expect it to go.

The other side of the question is of course what the hell we’re spending tax payer money on if the public has to pay $500-$800 for an ambulance ride.  I mean, if we really aren’t wasting money somewhere else and money actually CAN be allocated for me to be able to get a free or severely discounted ride to the hospital to save my life, I’m okay with paying a bit more.  Because you know, LIFE SAVING.  

But if ambulance care isn’t covered by taxes because some politician was a jerkface and decided to find a loophole that basically gave one of their sponsors kickbacks and we’re wasting taxpayer money somewhere, that’s rage worthy and I wish them terrible things.  Maybe I’m cynical, but I think somewhere buried in our system, this is probably one of the actual reasons why ambulances aren’t free and it’s probably pretty awful that I even find that plausible. I wish we could audit the government.

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